I deserve a spanking

  • Posted on March 18, 2012 at 2:48 AM

I’ve been a bad girl.  There are things I don’t tell, things that would get me spanked if known.  I deserve to be spanked, hard.  No, very hard, with a belt, until sitting is something I don’t want to do.  I want marks and bruises on my bare bottom to remind me what happens to bad girls.  To have my pants and panties yanked down, and to be pushed down on the bed as that scared/thrilled feeling floods me.  To hear the belt whistle through belt loops, knowing that it’s only a matter of seconds before it whips down on my vulnerable bare bottom.  To feel the leather smack down hard so many times that I lose track of the number and of time.  To have so many land that I can still feel it against my bottom even after it’s over.  To sob so hard that it drains everything from me, and I’m willing to surrender to it and the pain.  To be comforted afterward, and forgiven.  To be told that I’m a good girl again, and to believe it because I will have paid the price.

Until then I am a bad girl, and I deserve a long, hard spanking.

4 Comments on I deserve a spanking

  1. Serenity Everton says:

    >You may need and deserve a spanking. I won't argue that. You also deserve to be a good girl. I hope so much you will feel like a good girl soon enough.Hugs,SE

  2. Jen says:

    >It was part fiction, part fact. Sitting on the mat inspires thoughts, ya know? LOL

  3. Newt Kai says:

    >You want a spanking. Not just need or deserve, You want. You are finding your voice again. That is beautiful Jen.People forget how deeply ingrained this kink is. I love how you embrace it and explain it from your perspective. The mat kills me, but makes me happy that it works for you. Remember I was here to learn. It is all a part of the experience.Speaking of which. Suitor purchased a cheery blue mat with birds on it…. for the front door….Its a mat like urs, and will live outside.

  4. Jen says:

    >Newt, the mat works for me in place of what I really want, because I haven't found anybody who can make it for me! I chose it years ago when I was still learning what I wanted and needed in this kink of ours. I've embraced it with everything in me since then, and I own it despite the fact that people have said it's because of what happened in childhood. They don't understand that I have this in SPITE of what happened. It may have turned it in certain directions, but it was there from the beginning, in my DNA. It's mine, always and forever. I'm glad that you're learning your wants and needs in this. Suit's mat should stay outside!

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